1. This is grade school kickball rules, but adds drinking beer.
2. You should form two teams. Be sure to have fewer girls on your team, unless you want to lose.
3. Name your team. “Floppy Cocks”, "Cheat to win", and "Cum Dumpster" are all reserved.
4. Next is the slam off to decide which team kicks first. Line your teams up face-to-face. One member from each team starts and the next person starts when the one before him finishes and so on down the line. Don’t spill (unless you suck).
5. The team with the better drinking skills gets to bat first.
6. There are the basic baseball rules. You can get a player out by beaming them with the ball. Try to hit the runner in the head, because it makes the game funnier.
7. In order to be safe on base you must be drinking or else any player on the opposing team with the ball can beam you with it and you are out. Unless you get your fat mouth back on the cup in time.
8. If you slip, slide, trip, or fall then you have to do a six second keg stand at the end of the inning. Even if it is on purpose bitches.
9. Between each inning teams face off in a slam off. The winning team of the slam off gets an extra point. Keg ball is a game of both athletic talents and alcoholic tendencies.
10. Girls can play, but they are not good. You can stare at their boobs or asses when they run though, which is a plus.
11. The game may seem stupid at first, so drink faster!
12. If you disagree with a call, then bet keg stand seconds to see who is right. If you successfully do the keg stand then your judgment stands.
13. Making up rules when you are trashed can make the game more interesting.
14. Just remember the more you swear the more fun you will have.
15. The game is not over until the keg is empty. It doesn't matter if your game is 39 innings long, well it kind of does, it means you are a pussy and don't know how to drink.
16. If it gets dark while you are playing, then take the keg to someone's house and drink it until it's gone.
17. If the cops come explain to them that they are cocksucking bitches and then fight them to the death. This has never failed us yet. Or pretend that you are all from Germany and don't know any English.

Bush: "Kegball Rules!!!"